Neurodivergent, what is it?

Neurodivergent is a term we have seen lately. It was actually used for the first time by Judy Singer in 1997. The term was intended to be comparable to the term biodiversity, which refers to the diversity of all living things. Neurodiversity refers to the variety of ways all people think and behave. The term “neurodivergent” refers to individuals whose neurological development and functioning differ from what is considered typical or neurotypical. It recognizes and embraces the natural neurological variations that exist in human beings.

Let’s look at some of the terms and what they mean:

• Neurodivergent: A noun referring to the diversity or variation of cognitive functioning in all people

• Neurodiverse: An adjective typically used to describe neurodivergent people

• Neurodivergence: A noun referring to cognitive functioning which is not considered typical or "normal"

• Neurodivergent: An adjective describing people who have a neurodivergence

• Neurotypical: An adjective describing people whose cognitive and social behaviors fall within traditional norms

Neurodivergent individuals may have different ways of thinking, perceiving, learning, and processing information compared to the majority of the population. Some examples of neurodivergent conditions include autism spectrum disorders, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), dyslexia, dyspraxia, Tourette syndrome, and others.

Neurodivergent individuals often have unique strengths and perspectives that can contribute positively to society. They may excel in areas such as pattern recognition, creativity, problem-solving, attention to detail, and divergent thinking.

The concept of neurodiversity promotes the understanding that neurological differences should be accepted and respected, rather than being pathologized or viewed as disorders that need to be "fixed." It challenges the notion that there is a single "normal" or ideal neurological profile. Instead, it emphasizes the value of embracing and accommodating neurodivergent individuals' needs, promoting inclusivity, and creating environments that support their diverse ways of experiencing the world.

It's important to note that the term "neurodivergent" is primarily used as an umbrella term to encompass a range of neurological differences, and it is ultimately up to individuals to self-identify as neurodivergent based on their personal experiences and diagnoses.

There are some challenges and helpful traits of neurodiverse individuals. Some of the helpful traits include:

1. Ability to stay focused on a topic or activity of interest for long periods

2. Outside-the-box thinking, which can lead to innovative solutions to challenges

3. Strong observational skills and attention to detail

4. Superior ability to recognize patterns, including in codes and behaviors

5. Having strong skills in areas such as music, art, technology, and science

Some of the challenging traits include:

1. Social communication difficulties, such as trouble making eye contact while talking or not reading body language

2. Speech and language challenges, such as stuttering and repetition

3. Learning challenges that may be related to difficulties with focus, reading, calculation, ability to follow spoken language, and/or problems with executive functioning (important skills, including working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control)

4. Unusual responses to sensory input (sensitivity or unusual insensitivity to light, sound, heat, cold, pressure, crowds, and other stimuli)

5. Unusual physical behaviors, such as rocking, expressing tics, blurting things out, and shouting at unexpected times

6. Inflexibility (inability to adapt or to change interests based on age or situation)

It is important to understand neurodiversity and how it can impact a person’s life. The number of people who can be described as neurodivergent is very high, and it is on the rise. Each neurodivergent individual can be very different from each other so it is important to understand the meaning. It is a relatively new concept that is gaining traction and understanding and it helps present neurological differences as normal variations instead of pathological disorders.

What is Depression?

Depression is a mental health disorder characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, and a loss of interest or pleasure in activities. It is more than just experiencing occasional sadness or feeling down; depression affects a person's thoughts, emotions, behavior, and overall functioning. Depression is a complex and often misunderstood mental health condition that has become prevalent in today’s society.

Some of the common symptoms of depression are:

1. Persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or emptiness

2. Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed

3. Changes in appetite

4. Sleep disturbances, such as insomnia or excessive sleeping

5. Fatigue or loss of energy

6. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt

7. Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or remembering things.

8. Restlessness, or slowed movements.

9. Recurring thoughts of death or suicide.

Each of these symptoms can vary from person to person. It can be caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors. Traumatic life events, chronic stress, certain medications, and underlying medical conditions can also contribute to the development of depression. It is treatable through counseling, medication, lifestyle changes, and support from a strong social network.

Counseling is an essential and effective treatment option for individuals dealing with depression. It provides a safe and supportive environment where individuals can openly express their feelings, thoughts, and concerns with a trained professional. Here are some key aspects of counseling for depression:

1. Therapeutic Relationship: Counseling establishes a therapeutic relationship between the individual and the counselor. This relationship is built on trust, empathy, and confidentiality, providing a non-judgmental space for the individual to share their experiences.

2. Emotional Support: Counselors offer emotional support, validating the individual's feelings and experiences. They help individuals explore and understand the underlying causes of their depression, identify triggers, and develop coping strategies.

3. Psychoeducation: Counselors educate individuals about depression, its symptoms, and how it affects their lives. Understanding depression can help individuals gain insight into their experiences and reduce self-blame or stigma.

4. Goal Setting and Problem-Solving: Counselors assist individuals in setting realistic goals and developing strategies to overcome challenges. This can include addressing issues related to relationships, work, self-care, and lifestyle changes that may contribute to depressive symptoms.

5. Supportive Techniques: Counselors may employ various techniques to promote emotional well-being, such as relaxation exercises, mindfulness, stress management, and self-care strategies. These techniques help individuals develop healthy coping mechanisms and manage stress effectively.

It is important to find a qualified and licensed counselor or therapist experienced in working with depression. They can provide personalized guidance and support tailored to the individual's needs. Additionally, counseling can be combined with other treatment approaches, such as medication or lifestyle changes, for comprehensive care.

Remember, seeking counseling for depression is a proactive step towards better mental health. It can provide valuable insights, coping skills, and support necessary to navigate the challenges of depression and work toward recovery.

What is Anxiety and how to cope

Anxiety is a natural response to stress and danger, and it is something that affects many people at some point in their lives. However, for some individuals, anxiety can become overwhelming and interfere with daily life. In this blog post, we will explore what anxiety is, what causes it, and some strategies for managing it.

 What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe. It is a natural response to a stressful or dangerous situation and is often accompanied by physical sensations such as rapid heartbeat, sweating, and trembling. While it is normal to feel anxious from time to time, when it becomes persistent and starts to affect your daily life, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder.

Types of Anxiety Disorders

There are several types of anxiety disorders, including:

1. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD): This type of anxiety involves persistent and excessive worry about everyday situations and events.

2. Panic Disorder: This is characterized by sudden and unexpected panic attacks that can include symptoms such as heart palpitations, sweating, and shortness of breath.

3. Social Anxiety Disorder: This is a fear of being judged or evaluated by others, which can lead to avoidance of social situations.

4. Specific Phobias: This involves an intense fear or aversion to a particular object or situation, such as heights or flying.

Causes of Anxiety

The causes of anxiety are not fully understood, but there are several factors that may contribute to its development, including:

1. Genetics: Anxiety disorders can run in families, suggesting a genetic component.

2. Environmental factors: Trauma, abuse, and stressful life events can all contribute to the development of anxiety.

3. Brain chemistry: Imbalances in certain brain chemicals, such as serotonin and dopamine, may play a role in the development of anxiety.

Managing Anxiety

There are several strategies for managing anxiety, including:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This type of therapy helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns that contribute to anxiety.

2. Medication: Antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications can help manage symptoms of anxiety.

3. Lifestyle changes: Engaging in regular exercise, getting enough sleep, and reducing caffeine and alcohol intake can all help manage anxiety.

4. Mindfulness: Practices such as meditation and deep breathing can help individuals become more aware of their thoughts and feelings, and reduce anxiety.

5. Social support: Talking to a trusted friend or family member about your anxiety can help provide emotional support and reduce feelings of isolation.

Conclusion

Anxiety is a common experience that affects many people. While it is normal to feel anxious from time to time, when it becomes persistent and starts to interfere with daily life, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder. There are several strategies for managing anxiety, including cognitive behavioral therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, mindfulness, and social support. With the right treatment and support, it is possible to manage anxiety and improve overall quality of life.

You don’t have to deal with anxiety alone. Contact me to schedule an appointment. I can help you develop skills to use when you are stressed, worried, or full of anxiety. Don’t let the panic attacks stand in the way of living your life.

What to expect when your teen is in Therapy

It is difficult as parents when our teens and children are going through things and they won’t open up to us.  Therapy can be a great tool for your teen to open up and uncover who they are and understand themselves better.  It can be scary and overwhelming as parents to send their child or teen to therapy.  Often times my parents are worried that I will think poorly of them or that their teen will just air out all of the families drama.  As a therapist, and a mom to a pre-teen and teenager, I will not advise your child on how to fill or react in certain situations.  I will help them work through their emotions and reactions. 

Therapy is a place for the teen to learn about their reactions and emotions and to process how they feel.  I help them navigate friendships, relationship to parents, how to deal with stress, and how to live a healthier life.  I encourage parents to go to their own therapy so they can learn and experience the therapeutic process. 

Your teen is growing rapidly and their brain is developing quickly.  Therapy can help them feel like they have some control over their lives, when so many times, they don’t have control over much.  Involve your teen in finding the right therapist for themselves and ask them what they would prefer in a therapist.  Have them look at different therapy websites to see what they feel comfortable with.  I am here to work alongside both teens and parents.  While I will not disclose what your teen says in therapy, there will be times I encourage them to speak with you and times we have a joint session. 

Some of the most common reasons teens or their parents seek counseling:

·      Your teen is struggling in school, or maybe their grades are changing

·      They are drinking or using substances

·      They constantly seem angry or irritable

·      They have changed their eating habits

·      They no longer want to go anywhere, especially school

·      They are anxious or depressed

·      They are self-harming

·      They have lost their friend group

·      They aren’t taking care of their basic needs

If any of this sounds familiar please reach out to a counselor.  I will be happy to meet with you or your child/teen to work through a plan for therapy.   

What Self-Care Really Means

We have all heard that we need to practice self-care.  You can google self-care and find over 5 billion searches on self-care.  Everyone has their own thoughts and opinions on what self-care is.  But what is self-care and why is it important and how do you practice it?

According to the National Institute of Health, self-care means taking time to do things that help you live well and improve your physical and mental health.  Ultimately, the goal of self-care is to lower or manage your stress and anxiety, increase your energy, and lower your risk of illness.  Self-care can also boost your self-esteem and help you build better relationships.

Some may think self-care is selfish or choosing yourself over others.  Self-care is actually the opposite.  It is setting yourself up to be the best version of yourself that you can be.  It means accepting help when you need it and not overextending yourself by trying to impress people or “do it all”.  We all need help, and it can be good for your mental and physical health to ask for it.

Self-care is about nurturing yourself and your passions and honoring your mind, body, and spirit.  Everybody’s self-care will look different.  Giving yourself 5 minutes to 30 minutes a day to focus on yourself is imperative.  Self-care is caring about yourself and believing that you are enough and that you deserve to be treated kindly by you! 

There are many forms of self-care and countless ways you can find the self-care that works for you.  Here are some questions to ask yourself to find what kind of self-care you need. 

·      What feelings come up when you think about self-care?

·      What hesitations do you have about engaging in self-care?

·      What are some of your passions?

·      What have you been putting off that you really want to do?

·      Where do you find most of your stress comes from?

·      What brings you joy?

Sitting and being thoughtful while answering these questions can help guide you to what you need in your life.  If you still struggle with self-care you are not alone!  Don’t try and do this yourself and seek help from a trusted friend or counselor.  This may be the exact self-care that you need at this moment. 

Anxiety and Teens

Anxiety can look differently in adolescents than in children or adults.  Many times, adolescents have different things that trigger their anxiety.  Let’s first look at what anxiety is.  According to the American Psychological Association anxiety is defined as, “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure.  Many times, it comes in the form of intrusive thoughts, worries, and concerns.  Sometimes anxiety can be beneficial, it can help us become aware of certain dangers or help us prepare and pay attention in different situations. 

 With adolescents, anxiety can cause them to begin wanting to avoid people or situations that trigger or worsen their anxiety.  Oftentimes, this is school, social activities, and even family. They tend to have significant anxiety surrounding feeling embarrassed, humiliated, rejected, or looked down on.   Anxiety in adolescents is common with 1 in 3 experiencing a form of anxiety disorder.  Teens experiencing anxiety can also experience depression, self-harm, and substance use.  Some of the signs that your teen may be experiencing anxiety are changes in behavior, irritability, avoiding activities, school avoidance, grades dropping, trouble sleeping or concentrating, chronic stomach pain, headaches, and fatigue. 

 Some of the things that parents can do are talk to their teens about their anxiety.  Have an open dialogue with them about what it feels like to them.  If you asked 50 teens what anxiety feels like to them, you will get 50 different answers.  So, find out what the experience is like for your teen.  Validate and empathize with them, but do not dismiss their worries or anxieties.  Seek outside help if needed from your teen’s pediatrician or a counselor.  Ask them what they prefer!  Be there to support them as they work through this, but don’t do it alone!

What is Health At Every Size?

Health At Every Size (HAES) is an approach to public health that seeks to de-emphasize weight loss as a goal and to reduce stigma to larger body people. Pursuing health is neither a moral imperative nor an individual obligation, and health status should never be used to judge, oppress, or determine the value of an individual. Every individual has their own body shape and size that is the best for them. Every body type, shape, and weight should be treated with respect. Unfortunately in our diet culture, we stigmatize the larger body individuals. The truth is, is that you can be healthy across a wide range of body shapes and weights. The ideal body weight for you is whatever makes you feel strong and energetic and lets you lead a normal life. The basic premise of Health At Every Size is that your well-being and habits are more important than any number on the scale.

This may sound scary to many individuals because of the diet culture we live in. We are told to try this, or that, to lose more weight, just to be healthy. This is not backed up by science but it is a multi-billion dollar culture that feeds off of individuals’ insecurities and offers a “quick fix”. Diet culture can and does lead to eating disorders and disordered eating.

There are 5 principles to Health At Every Size as listed on the ASDAH website:

1. Weight Inclusivity - Accept and respect the inherent diversity of body shapes and sizes and reject the idealizing or pathologizing of weights.

2. Health Enhancement- Support health policies that improve and equalize access to information and services, and personal practices that improve human well-being, including attention to individual physical, economic, social, spiritual, emotional, and other needs.

3. Respectful Care- Acknowledge our biases, and work to end weight discrimination, weight stigma, and weight bias. Provide information and services from an understanding that socio-economic status, race, gender, sexual orientation, age, and other identities impact weight stigma and support environments that address these inequities.

4. Eating for Well-Being- Promote flexible, individualized eating based on hunger, satiety, nutritional needs, and pleasure, rather than any externally regulated eating plan focused on weight control.

5. Life-Enhancing Movement- Support physical activities that allow people of all sizes, abilities, and interests to engage in enjoyable movement, to the degree that they choose.

What is Intuitive Eating?

Intuitive Eating is a self-care eating framework, which integrates instinct, emotion, and rational thought and was created by two dietitians, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch in 1995. Practicing intuitive eating honors both your physical and mental health. Intuitive Eating is weight inclusive and aligned with Health At Every Size, which I will discuss in another blog post.

Intuitive Eating takes an anti-diet approach. Intuitive Eating is about trusting your body to make food choices that feel good to you. It allows you to let go of the rigidity around food that may be influenced by family, friends, media and diet culture. There is no ban or restriction of certain foods because no food is “good” or “bad”. The main purpose to to focus on foods that work best for you physically and mentally.

There are 10 principles of Intuitive Eating:

1. Reject the Diet Mentality

2. Honor Your Hunger

3. Make Peace with Food

4. Challenge the Food Police

5. Discover the Satisfaction Factor

6. Feel Your Fullness

7. Cope with Your Emotions with Kindness

8. Respect your Body

9. Movement- Feel the Difference

10. Honor Your Health- Gentle Nutrition

Doing all of this at one time without the help of a professional can be scary and overwhelming. Let me help you walk through the process of honoring your body, and being gentle with yourself.

Teens and Parents

Often times when I meet with parents who have teenagers, their biggest question is, “how do I connect with my teen when they push me away?” It can be difficult to connect to your teens when they are consistently pushing parents away and holed up in their rooms.

During the teen years, teens are moving away from a family-centered world into defining and figuring out their self-identity. They are figuring out who they are, and who they want to be. They are moving away from their parents and developing their own identities. They have to figure out how to navigate their day-to-day lives without the guidance of their parents. They begin to take risks and experiment with different things.

There are no easy answers for parents and parenting, below are some things you can do to help stay connected with your teen.

• The number one thing you can do to stay connected with your teens is, to be honest with them. Use your own experiences with them.

• Know and understand that respect goes both ways.

• Show interest in the things they are interested in.

• Allow your teen to have a bigger role in the family.

• Get to know their friends, have their friends over, and spend time with them and your teen.

• Listen to music together. Many teens love music and they typically listen to music that speaks to them. Get to know the songs, speak to them about the songs and what it means to them.

Spending time with your teen is important. Connecting with them will be difficult and they will push back against parents. Counseling can help bridge this gap between parents and teens. I meet with teens and help them navigate their social relationships and relationship with their parents.

Call or email me today if your teen needs help or if you need help with parenting. Kimberly@tylerteencounseling.com or 903-206-1610.